Depression Distractions — A lesson on identifying behaviors used to disassociate from reality.

Currently, I have a Google Chrome page open for the following: Wallpaper, Canva, Society6, AirBnB, “Whimsicle”, Instagram, Zone 4 Gardening, Backyard Chickens, Planning & Zoning in Vermont, Kindle Print On Demand, Self Publishing, Squarespace, Medium, Income Restrictions, Short-term Rentals, Long-term Rentals, Asheville Offbeat, and Chewing Gum Streaming. Some of these are projects I MUST work on and some are distractions. I do pretty well separating the two virtually. I know I must focus on finding a place to stay after June 5th. I know I need to find another form of income (passive, preferably), but this can be put on hold until I find a place to stay. I know I should research Vermont to its fullest, but let’s be honest, I probably know 100 facts on Vermont off the top of my head. The rest are just distractions. And I recognize this.

I haven’t written anything for weeks, over a month by now for certain. I haven’t done my nails or brushed my hair, and I hardly change my clothing. I am emotionally tapped out by noon. I lost a chunk of a molar Thursday night and I pulled something in my back on Sunday; I won’t go to a doctor. I take a shower about once every 4 days. I am existing.

When I’m not existing, I’m sleeping. I sleep to pass the time and ease the pain. I…